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"Boats are a form of punishment for anything you've done wrong to anyone in your life."
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"Don't sweat the petty stuff.... and never pet the sweaty stuff."
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"Don't get rid of a boat that's paid for or a woman that cooks, no matter what they look like."
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"The lower your standards the luckier you get"
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"I tried to make it to the nipple, but just got the elbow."