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Old 02-08-2012, 08:51 PM   #1
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Default Humor thread

Looks like a lot of guys want to share good jokes, emails and so forth that they find. A separate Humor forum might be great.
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Old 05-02-2012, 02:33 PM   #2
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Just noticed this thread like the one I just suggested...
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:08 PM   #3
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Same here. I didn't know the admin had provided one.

OK, someone get the ball rolling.
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:13 PM   #4
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I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite.
I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few
Seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.
I tried this a few more times with no success.

All the while, my wife Karen is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yelled to me,
'You need a piece of tail.'

I turned with a confused look on my face and yelled back,
'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kit!!
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:14 PM   #5
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Now before you go and get your hackles up, Obama admitted to eating dog when he was young in indonesia, that means you NINJA!!

Romney: Boxers or Briefs; Obama: Boxers or Beagles.

Obama’s favorite movie: Dog Day Afternoon

Obama seven course State Dinner with the Indonesian Delegation….a 6 pack and a puppy.

I don’t see this story having legs anymore, kinda like the dog Obama ate.

It looks as if this Axelrod marketing ploy will dog Obama for a while.

When Obama says:”Ay, Chihuahua!”, that’s what’s for dinner.

Yes, Obama loves dogs, particularly when served in a light cream sauce.

What does Obama call a dog in a kennel? A box lunch!

Mr. President, his name is Frisky – not crispy!

Folks continue to “hound” him about this issue….. I’m confident it will dog him to his grave.

Obama was riding the Gravy Train until Axelrod’s marketing stunt backfired.

Any mention on whether the MSM may end up chasing their own tail on this story?

Romney took his dog on vacation. Obama took his with fries.
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:15 PM   #6
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Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a
bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and
begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat.
It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new
models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...I was just talking to Janie
and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market.
They're asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll
probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's
what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him
in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:16 PM   #7
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I was chatting to this girl in the pub last night & telling her of my
uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman was born by
holding their breasts in my hands.

She thought I was putting her on but was curious none the less.
Eventually curiosity got the better of her & she said "go on then,
give it a go! "

I stood there feeling her breasts for about a minute before she
could contain herself no longer & asked " When was I born then?

I replied "Yesterday" .
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:18 PM   #8
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Today I had to run to supermarket.

As I approached the entrance, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space.

I flagged the driver and pointed out a parking space in the handicap area.

The driver looked puzzled. ''I'm not handicapped'' she said.

Well, was my face red. ''Oh, sorry about that, I saw your Obama sticker and just presumed ...''

She gave me the finger and called me some nasty names.

Sheesh! Some people....
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