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Old 09-12-2008, 11:08 AM   #1
Ruby Red Lip
Join Date: Sep 2008
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Default Diving yesterday

Made it out diving yesterday with a few new friends....

Seems that seeing how's the Presidental Candidates had taken a day off from Name calling

they could find no one to hang out with other then me, seeing how's I'm the Nations ONLY officially registered Republocrat!

The crew consisted of Me Mac-Daddy, you guys know him as John McCain..but his buds just call him Mac-Daddy.....I'm not quite sure why but come to think of it....there was a time where him and the Young lady on board slipped away and I could hear him saying "who's your daddy?"...don't know what that was about.

Anyway, the rest of the crew,

The young lady I mentioned earlier...That was some hot chick from Alaska of all Places...I think her name was Sarah but they just kept referring to her as "Gov-Baby" I can say...for someone from Alaska she sure toted a mean Speargun.

Then we had this big dufus lookin' black dude that swears he's a politician but he sure looked more like a second-stringer for the Continental Basketball Association to me!

I never did get his full name but Mac-Daddy kept referring to his as "Huessie" but with a iong "O" sound so it sounded like "Who-see"He kept correcting Mac-Daddy saying He was

"Mr. Ole-Bama" ...He didn't quite fit the "good ole boy" mold to me but whatever.....

I did ask him once if he was Muslem 'cause about 3:00 he kept asking which way was East...said something about "needing to Pray"
It was a little rough with the storm and all I must say...but the ole Cape Horn seemed to be holding up well considering we were in 18-22 foot seas When I ask him if he was Muslem......MAN, Did I ever get a stare from EVERYONE on the boat....Mac-Daddy did snicker a bit too!

Did I tell ya that the "Bama-guy" had brought his pal Joey Bitten or something like that from Delaware...All he said the entire day was over and over and over "I shouldn't be here, this should be Hillary's spot"

We made it to the first dive site and I said "OK, everybody suit up!" I went into the cabin for a moment and return to find Mac-Daddy and Joey dressed in $5000.00 hand taylored suites, Gov-Baby was decked out in full scuba gear and I MUST say with her 48" ABBiller she was SMOKIN' and the Bama-Guy, the one Mac-Daddy kept referring to as Huessie,he was decked out in a pair of water-wings and a rubber ducky.....NOT cool!

Well, I decided the only way Sarah and I would get to dive was to give these boys something to do, so I found some Monopoly Money and said "here guys, this belongs to the American Tax Payers...have fun!" Those three were grinning wider then a Mule eating Briars!

Me and Gov-Baby hit the water and Like a rocket she headed straight for the wreck, and without batting an eye lined up on a..I'm-not-foolin' 45# grouper! WOP! right up side the head and with a quick thumbs up, she gave me a look like.."I got what I came for, I'll see you at the boat" and off she went!

When I surfaced, I find that the Three Stooges left behind had ran out of Monopoly Money to burn and give to the gulls, and turtles and whatever, so they were all bummed...

The "Ole-Bama" guy had found a towel by now and wrapped it around his head and was in the corner of the boat making awful groaning and moaning noises...like "aahhhhheeeeiiiooooooeehhhaaaahhhhh" I think he had a migrane or something...anyway we got the anchor pulled and began the long ride in.

Just as we left the Frieghter....OOPS I gave my secret spot away....the Engine DIED! "what are we gonna do now!" Well, without hesitation, The Gov-chick grabs the Big-Eared "Ole-Bama" guy and She says "I know!" She shoves a regulator up his butt and jams the purge valve open! You can see the pressure building and Just as I think he's gonna blow she tosses him overboard and those big ears start spinning like a ferriswheel stuck on HIGH! We're hitting it at what's gotta be 20 kts! jumping waves, having a great time, even Mac-Daddy is snickering again!

We hit the beach only to be met by a dozen or so Black gas-guzzling SUV's. no less then 50 men jump out all in idenitical suits and grab the Gov-Chick and Mac-Daddy and the Bama fan and off they run! "Hey Wait!" I yelled...."you forgot Joe!" and just as they topped the dunes the Bama guy sticks his head out of the window and yells back! "That's OK...Hillary is available...you keep'im"

The best two parts of the story ...I got to keep the Gov-Baby's grouper AND she invited ME to go Moose hunting this spring in Alaska!
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Old 09-12-2008, 11:42 AM   #2
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Default RE: Diving yesterday

I think I busted my rectum on this one!
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Old 09-12-2008, 12:16 PM   #3
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Default RE: Diving yesterday

Nice, I think I blew slobber on the monitor. Keep on keepin on.
II Chronicles 7:14
if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

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Old 09-12-2008, 05:03 PM   #4
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Old 09-15-2008, 01:43 PM   #5
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Default RE: Diving yesterday

Id go "diving" with the ole Gov-Baby.
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