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Old 12-19-2007, 10:24 PM   #1
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Default Shopping at Walmart

<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt">Is this an old one?? Thought it was kind of funny..</DIV><TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 1.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 1.5pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 1.5pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-TOP: 1.5pt" width="100%"><P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 36pt; COLOR: #3c638a; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, <SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13pt; COLOR: #373e68; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 36pt; COLOR: #3c638a; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes t en secon ds and costs ten dollars . . A lot cheaper than a doctor ."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart ."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
<SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 36pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">
<SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 36pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart<SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #373e68; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> </DIV><P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></DIV>
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Old 12-19-2007, 10:33 PM   #2
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Default RE: Shopping at Walmart

that's some funny shizzit.
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Old 12-19-2007, 10:33 PM   #3
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Default RE: Shopping at Walmart

That's pretty good! Not related to the story at all, but that reminds me of a time when I was at hell-mart and witnessed a lardass who got their arm stuck in the blood pressure machine. He was panicking like crazy!!
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Old 12-20-2007, 11:24 AM   #4
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Default RE: Shopping at Walmart

damn it you get stuck in a blood pressure machine one time and it haunts you for ever !!!!!!!!!! :doh
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Old 12-20-2007, 11:48 AM   #5
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Default RE: Shopping at Walmart

Now thats funny Konz !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:letsdrink:letsdrink:letsdrink:le tsdrink:letsdrink:letsdrink:letsdrink:letsdrink:le tsdrink

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Old 12-20-2007, 12:20 PM   #6
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Default RE: Shopping at Walmart

Dang that funny! Heard it a while back, but the "stuck in the blood pressure thingy" is Hilarious!!! Thanks for the laff! :clap
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Old 12-20-2007, 05:55 PM   #7
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Default RE: Shopping at Walmart

HE HE!
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Old 12-20-2007, 07:08 PM   #8
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Default RE: Shopping at Walmart

May be old but still funny.
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Old 12-21-2007, 09:53 AM   #9
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Default RE: Shopping at Walmart

yup funny stuff...:letsdrink
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