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Old 11-06-2007, 08:49 AM   #1
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Default More redneck shtuff

<TABLE class=MsoNormalTable style="MARGIN-LEFT: 45pt; WIDTH: 537.5pt" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=717 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 1.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 1.5pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 1.5pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-TOP: 1.5pt" width="100%"><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Redneck Gal's
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Man of Her Dreams Winner<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'"> and the <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Runner up<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">A Redneck passed away and left his entire estate
to his beloved widow .
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 36pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">but she can't touch it 'til she's 14. <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Redneck Cooler<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">
</DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">How do you know when you're staying
in a Redneck hotel ?
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">When you call the front desk and say,
I gotta leak in my sink, and the
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">clerk replies, Go ahead.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Redneck Cellar<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">How can you tell if a redneck is married ? . . <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">There's dried tobacco juice on both sides
of his pickup truck.
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Redneck Garden<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">Did you hear that they have raised the minimum
drinking age for Rednecks to 32 ?
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">It seems they want to keep alcohol
out of the high schools.
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Redneck Limo Camper<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a
Redneck murder .
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">1) The DNA is all the same
2) There's no dental records
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Redneck Mailbox<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">Who invented the toothbrush ? . . <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">A Redneck.
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">(If it had been invented by anyone else,
it would have been called a teeth brush.)
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">Redneck Moon Landing<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">A State Trooper pulls over a pickup on Highway 16
and says to the driver, 'Got any I.D. ?' . .
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">and the driver replies 'Bout wut ?'<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Redneck Time Out<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">Did you hear about the $3 million Redneck Lottery ? . . <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Redneck Wiener Roast<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">A new Redneck law was just recently passed . . <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">When a couple gets divorced,
they are STILL cousins.

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">Redneck Wheelchair <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">Did you hear that the Redneck governor's <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">mansion burned down ? . . <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">'Yep. Pert'near took out the whole trailer park,
said the redneck, the library was a total loss too.
Both books went poof . . . up in flames and the
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'">governor hadn't even finished coloring one of them.' <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: white; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial Narrow', 'sans-serif'">.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">
A Redneck Thanksgiving
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">(if Norman Rockwell was a Redneck)<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial', 'sans-serif'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV class=ecmsonormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc0000; FONT-FAMILY: 'Wanted LET', 'serif'">That's all folks !<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #996633; FONT-FAMILY: 'Tahoma', 'sans-serif'"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
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Old 11-06-2007, 10:10 AM   #2
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Default RE: More redneck shtuff

This looks funny, but the pictures don't work...
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Old 11-06-2007, 12:40 PM   #3
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Default RE: More redneck shtuff

Pics don't work for me either
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Old 11-06-2007, 08:04 PM   #4
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Default RE: More redneck shtuff

No pick and Im offended :moon
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