Marine assaults African Immigrant - Pensacola Fishing Forum

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Old 04-03-2011, 07:42 PM   #1
CCC
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Default Marine assaults African Immigrant

A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her
Inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted
as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story
on the front page...
So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'
The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:


U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS
AFRICAN IMMIGRANT
AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
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Old 04-03-2011, 09:53 PM   #2
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Default

Got this email yesterday

Subject: I Want a Bridge


A man was pushing his Harley along a California beach when suddenly
the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because
you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can
ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the
bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a
little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God,
I wish that I, and all men, could understand women;

I want to know how she feels inside,

what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment,

why she cries,

what she means when she says nothing's wrong,

why she snaps and complains when I try to help,

and how I can make a woman truly happy.

God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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