GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION... - Pensacola Fishing Forum

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Old 12-24-2007, 11:23 PM   #1
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Default GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

Scroll down. Its got all messed up!
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Old 12-24-2007, 11:25 PM   #2
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Default RE: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It
means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest
of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -
it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how
you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I
said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a
cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed,
you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense,
rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only suks on bar-b-que ribs,
crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything
else and you are in training to suck El
Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot,
you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he
defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the
poop chute. Coffee is to be hard strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man
will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never,
ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in
your mouth, you've had a man there,
too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert,
you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't
have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the
names of all the players in the Major
league, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse
or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of
textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a
meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass
driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change
the radio sGENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It
means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest
of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -
it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how
you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I
said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a
cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed,
you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense,
rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only suks on bar-b-que ribs,
crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything
else and you are in training to suck El
Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot,
you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he
defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the
poop chute. Coffee is to be hard strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man
will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never,
ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in
your mouth, you've had a man there,
too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert,
you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't
have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the
names of all the players in the Major
league, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse
or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of
textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a
meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass
driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change
the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold
his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui?
The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows
how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with
another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion),
which is what happens to fags when they Flame out tootation, eat a hamburger, hold
his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui?
The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows
how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with
another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion),
which is what happens to fags when they Flame out too
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Old 12-24-2007, 11:27 PM   #3
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Default RE: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

lol awesome....thank god...i am not gay
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Old 12-24-2007, 11:47 PM   #4
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Default RE: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

Well I shit almost everywhere I go bath:letsdrinkroom or not.
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Old 12-25-2007, 12:03 AM   #5
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Default RE: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

i dont know about the color one--i fish with chartruese lures as well as motor oil, tequila sunrise, & pumpkinseed
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Old 12-25-2007, 12:07 AM   #6
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Default RE: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

That was hilarious! I do take exception to the chartreuse
statement. It is a popular fishing lure color thus a "real man" could easily identify it.:nonono
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Old 12-25-2007, 12:37 AM   #7
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Default RE: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

Sorry but #3 was way too funnyGood stuff right there man:bowdown
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Old 12-25-2007, 02:52 AM   #8
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Default RE: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

Hey, I got a story for you all at Sam's Wed. Its Ironic too.:banghead
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Old 12-25-2007, 03:19 AM   #9
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Default RE: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

Glad I'm not Gay!!!:letsdrink:letsdrink
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Old 12-25-2007, 12:27 PM   #10
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Default RE: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

Hey ! I like cats,...eh, the tough ones ! yeah, yeah...that's it !
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