A FEW FUNNY Quotes & things to think about! - Pensacola Fishing Forum

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Old 07-23-2008, 10:06 PM   #1
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Default A FEW FUNNY Quotes & things to think about!

Friends don't let friends

take home ugly men

Women's restroom

Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Beauty is only a light switch away.

Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , NC

If life is a waste of time,

and time is a waste of life,

then let's all get wasted together

and have the time of our lives.

Armand's Pizza, Washington , DC

Fighting for peace is like

screwing for virginity.

The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO

No matter how good she looks,

some other guy is sick and tired

of putting up with her shit.

Men's Room

Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC

At the feast of ego

everyone leaves hungry.

Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , AZ

It's hard to make a comeback

when you haven't been anywhere.

Written in the dust on the back of a bus,

Wickenburg , AZ

Make love, not war.

-Hell, do both


Women's restroom

The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT

If voting could really change things,

it would be illegal.

Revolution Books

New York , New York .

If pro is opposite of con,then what is the opposite of progress?


Men's restroom House of Representatives,

Washington , DC

Express Lane:

Five beers or less

Sign over one of the urinals

Ed Debevic's, Phoenix , AZ

You're too good for him.

Sign over mirror in Women's restroom

Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA

No wonder you always go home alone.

Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,

Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA

~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one~~~

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:

If it has tires or testicles,

you're going to have trouble with it

Women's restroom

Dick's Last Resort, Dallas , TX


Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy



Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.



A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.



Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.



A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.



A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,

'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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