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Old 03-27-2010, 11:44 AM   #21
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Default RE: Drunkest You Have Ever Been?

I HAVE BEEN THEIR A FEW TIMES but right now its 10:00 in the morn an i have drink several beers an some moonshine i am pretty well f___ed up so got to work 12 hrs tonite see yea
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Old 03-27-2010, 12:03 PM   #22
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Default RE: Drunkest You Have Ever Been?

Ok I have 1 more. Not too proud of this one and yet very proud at the same time. This is the outcome of a handfull of xanax and a handle of Jack. We were hangin @ the aptmt getting tore down. Some buddies were ther, some on their way. I lived in a second story aptmt. From the window I see a buddie pull up. Excited because I haven't seen him in a while, I run out the door & down the stairs to give him a bro hug. I miss the last five steps. I put my left arm through a tempered glass panel window. Gashed my arm about 5 inches long (definentley needed stitches). We go upstairs, wash it off, put some gauze on it and wrap with an ace bandage. Good to go! We party a while. Then decide we want to swim (aptmt complex has 2 pools). The last thing I remember is 5 guys running through the parking lot in boxers. I wake up the next morning, not in my bed. In a 2nd bed in a different bedroom. I look over and the couple (who's bedroom I was in) was sound asleep. About this time I realize the bed I am in is soaked. Doing what I think every man would do, I put my hand in said wetness and give it a sniff. Chlorine? "HEY!" Couple wakes up. Why is this bed soaked & why does it smell like chlorine. "You don't remember?" I have no idea. Girl asks "you really don't remember?" No wtf? She tells the story starting @ the jumping of the fence to get into the locked pool area. Well at some point I will call him Bill tried a backflip and hit his head (no one saw this). Girl looks over and sees Bill @ the bottom of the pool not moving. This point in my life I am a certified Rescue Diver (lucky for Bill). Apparently I jumped in the pool, pulled him out and began cpr. She said it only took one puff of air and he spit water everywhere. I don't remember to this day saving a mans life. We never went to the hospital and I never took xanax again. Glad my training kicked in, sad I was that intoxicated.
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Old 03-27-2010, 12:21 PM   #23
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Default RE: Drunkest You Have Ever Been?

New Years 2002. Never wanted a bullet through my head more than that night. I don't remember what all I drank but I know it was far more than necessary.
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Old 03-27-2010, 12:44 PM   #24
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Default RE: Drunkest You Have Ever Been?

Stationed in Holy Loch, Scotland on the USS Hunley in '87. I was broke as the day I was born. That was when the shipmates decided I looked pitiful. We had plans of hitting the many bars in Dunoon and coming back on the last boat. Well, we started at the club that was right across from the pier. I started with a beer and then immediately went to the 101 Turkey and Cokes. Amazingly enough I remember all of what happened when I was awake. Not sure the actual count but I remember at least 10 rounds. Now, here was the tricky part. My shipmates decided to start ordering my Turkey and cokes as doubles and triples after about the 3rd round. We closed that bar down at about 2am. Last liberty boat was at 3am. The rules were, if you were drunk you had to be able to say the time and the date and your name before they would let you on the pier to get on the last boat. Either that or you found a room or slept int he shack. I got my name right almost immediately. It took the next 45 minutes for me to actually get the time and the date right. I remember the squid standing guard just cracking up laughing at some of the dates I said. Apparently, 1962 was one of them and that is before I was born. So, I finally pass the test and we are headed down the pier. I am being carried by 2 shipmates one one each side and they were just dragging my feet. The liberty boat was slapping around in 2 footers and I was trying to time it to fall on. I made it with only a minor smash to the face from the side of the boats cabin. As I managed to fall my way down into the cabin I heard the BM say, if he pukes, he cleans it.... So, we're sitting there and I am swaying back and forth and about halfway across the loch I toss my guts all over the floor and few of my buddies and pass out. When we got to the other side they drug me up onto boat ops and then they had to go down and clean the liberty boat until the BM was happy with the job. They came and drug me up to the quarterdeck where I managed to show my ID and toss a salute to what I am sure was the screw and we headed down below. They tossed me onto the couch in berthing and off they went to sleep. Well, I had to heave a few times that night and in one of them I guess I had passed out with me head in the trashcan and my neck laying across the metal rim of the can. When I awoke the next morning I had a red ring around my neck that took the entire next day to go away.

Best night of free drinks I ever had and I am still in touch with each of those shipmates. Squids and shipmates for life.
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:12 PM   #25
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Default RE: Drunkest You Have Ever Been?

Splittine wanted me to post this for him, he said he had the worst hangover ever!!! :moon

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Old 03-27-2010, 01:25 PM   #26
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I decided to throw a party at my house for our homecoming. Well i started drinking before h/c and then continued through the dance. Then got home to the hunch bunch and everclear and lemonade. :banghead Well everything was going fine had about 150 people at the house. I mean people were in the front yard, back yard, inside and on my back porch. Well about 3 hours later and too many drinks to count Johny law shows up. He says get everyone to leave and no one will get in trouble. So i walked back inside and yelled "Don't worry about it they won't come back" next thing you know they're back and my friend said they picked me up and slammed me into the truck and put the cuffs on me and through me in the car. One of my friends was walking past the cop car and I manage to get his attention and tell him to let me out. :banghead He told me the next day he didn't because all he pictured was me in handcuffs running down the road drunk.

Well i don't remember much after that other then what my mom, who had to come get me, told me. She said i was too drunk to be put in the drunk tank and they let me just sleep on the bench. Well my mom is talking to the cops in front of me and she said i woke up and said "Can yall two please keep it down over here I'm trying to sleep" :nonono and then she told the cop to hold on for one second and came over and kicked me in the side. The cop looked and her and said "I understand i have kids too." Well then we get back to the car and I decide that I'm gonna drive home. I get in the drivers seat and she says "Paul get out of the drivers seat you're not driving" I respond "Mom i'm not can you get in the car and we can go home please" she said "Paul get out of the damn drivers seat" I then rolled over the center console and we go home. I woke up the next day and thought all that was a dream. Then I realized it wasn't because my mom didn't say more then 3 words to me for 3 months.

We go to court and they had to drop all of the charges. Luckily. And the person that called didn't even live on my road or near me. It was a girl who was 17 the was pregnant and couldn't come party.
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Old 03-27-2010, 02:47 PM   #27
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Well, I used to be quite the hell raiser, so it is a toss up as to which story to tell, because I have more than a few. But, this should be a good one, so here goes:

From May 1997 to 1998 I was stationed in the Sinai with the MFO. I was at North Camp, which is basically a one mile square pen in the middle of the desert that houses the military from 11 different countries. It pretty much sucks being there, except for the fact that every country has its own bar and drink prices are very, very low. A fifth of Crown was usually $4.95. Well, one night we had a DOD concert come into camp. To go along with the free concert, there was also free beer: all the beer you could drink. To say there was a few drunk GI's would be a severe understatement. After the concert we all ended up in the bars. I was shooting pool and drinking beer with a few of my buddies when one of them had the bright idea to "Lets go have some fun". So we headed out to see what we could get into. The first stop was the dining facility. They had one of those little trucks like you see sitting around for sale that is basically the size of a Rhino or Mule. Right beside the area where the truck was parked was a large can wash that was about two to three foot deep. So, we all picked up the truck and sat it down in the pit. I'm not sure how they ever got it out. Next, we went around the base and gatherd as many bikes as we could find. Bikes were the main source of transportation on the base. We took them all to the soccer field which is located in the middle of everything on base. There are flag poles for every country there. So we stood on each others backs and passed the bikes up and slide them down the poles. I am not sure how long it took or how many bikes were stacked, but I can tell you it was a damn bunch of them. We then caught some type of huge lizard, that we kept calling the alligator, and turned it loose in the female shower area. After that we we did a pool run. A pool run is where everyone runs to the main pool, jumps the fence, takes off all your clothes swims a full lap, jumps out, gets dressed, and races to the bar. The last one there buys a round. So now back at the bar. We are back to drinking and shooting pool. When it was my turn to buy a round at the bar, I bumped into a guy and spilled his drink. Well, I bought him another on the spot. We got to talking and I found out the he was the 1SG of the EOD boys and that he was from Mary Esther! Well, with me being from Milton, we were basically hometown boys that were both stranded in the sand on the other side of the world. So, he invited me to sit with him and we drank a few and shared stories from home. Eventually, one of us ordered a shot of Tekillme. A friendly challenge soon followed, and to quote Mr. Buffet, "We drank another and another and antother, and we wer drunk." I am not sure how much I had to drink at the concert or how much I drank prior to the little contest, but I lost count of the shots after we passed 20. So the bar kicks us all out and closes. He goes his way, and I stagger mine. I remember walking down the road, side-to-side of course, and trying to negotiate over a speed bump. Needless to say, my toe caught the damn thing and down went Fraiser! So there I was laying in the middle of the road, trying not to cry where I had spun around and fell head first on the black top, hell I may have even been out for a while, I don't know. I just remember that I could get on all fours, but would only fall foward and on my face every time I tried to stand up. So after multiple attemps and failures, and the worst case of road face you have ever seen by someone that did not wreck a motorcyle, I made the decision to crawl the rest of the way home. Have I mentioned that the Sinia desert is home to some of the largest sandspurs and cuckleburs in the world, and that the beds for them grow like wild weeds in the south? I crawled as far as the pain would let me and was about to give up all hope of ever making back to my room alive when I noticed the concert stage. It looked like a great place to rest for a while. So, I crawled over to it, and somehow managed to pull myself up the steps to the flat surface. At somepoint I must have gotten really hot, the way you do when your drunk, because I somehow managed to get undressed (At least I hope that I did it) because when I woke the next morning to the sound of everyone doing PT I was laying there naked wrapped up in a Coors Light Proudly Supports or Troops sign that used to be on the front of the stage. So, I gather up my clothes (I never did find my other shoe) and limped back to my room wearing the sign like a towel around my waist. A few IV's later and with the help of a few friends that dug stickers out of me for about a half a day, I was ready to get after it again the next night.I am sure that I left something out that I just don't remember, but you get the point. This night has to be one of my all time three drunkest moments. Hope yall enjoyed!
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Old 03-27-2010, 03:15 PM   #28
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Default RE: Drunkest You Have Ever Been?

Went to the Hogs Breath Saloon one night in 1976 after graduating high school and turning 18. I awoke in a puddle of that sweet blue drink that used to be called a hog snort back then...I was 35, married and had two step daughters.
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Old 03-27-2010, 03:57 PM   #29
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I'd just like to add two things to mine, 1. That is entirely true, there is not one bit of embellishment, and 2. That all happened in a 24 hour period. Bus left Saturday morning, bus was back around 1PM Sunday.
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:55 PM   #30
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Default RE: Drunkest You Have Ever Been?

have u ever woken up 30 miles outside of Mazatalan and not know how you got there. We placed third in a sailfish tournament and spent all of our winnings that night. It was an interisting getting back, I might have a son down there
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