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Old 06-16-2011, 03:26 PM   #1
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This is mostly a venting session but seek advice as well. I have custody of my 15 year old and have since my divorce 7 years ago. I agreed to allow my ex 50 % time with him since thats what I wanted from the start but she would'nt hear any of that she had to have it all, so my only choice was to go for full custody and got it.

For the first 5 years he NEVER wanted to go to her house and some times he would be cryng his eyes out when I took him but I thought it fair for her to see him. Well now he will be going to Navarre high next year and all his friends live around her house in Holley by the sea and it's summer so he wants to be over there during the day so he can play with his friends. My ex is throwing a fit that he is there even though she never really sees him and talking smack to me about he doesn't want to go to my/his house cause I don't spend enough time with him and so on. Well I had a talk with him and that was a bunch of crap. With a 15 year old it's all about your friends, you don't stay up your parents ass like you did when you were younger. She just don't get he is growing up. I am damn glad that Judge ruled the way he did or I would be in Hell. Besides an exterminator any ideas how to handle this?
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Old 06-16-2011, 03:48 PM   #2
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Good luck brother, I have sole custody of my son as well and luckly high school is just behind the house. He really doesnt care to go to his mothers but he manages the little time he is there usually 3 days a month. Just make the best of it. Prayers to ya.
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Old 06-16-2011, 03:58 PM   #3
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Thank you, I needed some empathy.
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Old 06-17-2011, 10:37 AM   #4
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Been there, Bro. Good news, you only have 3 years until he's 18 and he'll be driving in a year. I'd be willing to bet his mother wanted full custody mostly because of child support. You did good talking to him about the problem. Keep that line of communication open. If his mom doesn't want him around during the day and it's not on here scheduled visitation, you probably should discourage him from going over there. It sure is a relief when they turn 18 and you can tell the old ex to kiss off. Good luck.
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Old 06-17-2011, 01:46 PM   #5
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[QUOTE=Dagwood;682515]Been there, Bro. Good news, you only have 3 years until he's 18 and he'll be driving in a year. I'd be willing to bet his mother wanted full custody mostly because of child support. You did good talking to him about the problem. Keep that line of communication open. If his mom doesn't want him around during the day and it's not on here scheduled visitation, you probably should discourage him from going over there. It sure is a relief when they turn 18 and you can tell the old ex to kiss off. Good luck

I wish that was true but unfortunaley for me all that happens is I get a $100 decrease in alimony. The way it is written I have to pay her $1000 a month and she has to pay me $400 in child support, but when he turns 18 the alimony goes down to $500 which if he goes to college ( which he will he is a straight a student) she will still have to pay child support so if all goes as planned I will only have to pay her $100 till he graduates then it goes back to $500 till I die. Thats what she tells me anyway, " I will never get married again just so you have to pay for the rest of your life for what you've done to me" Nice huh?
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Old 06-17-2011, 03:18 PM   #6
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Continue to talk to him. Sounds like he is a smart boy and should understand that he has to give parents a "little" time. Even after the age 12 or 13 courts usually will go with what the child wants as far as visitations etc.

Sounds like you've managed pretty well so far, and I imagine that after you have thought about this for a while it will not seem as bad as it does now. From the Mom's point of view, I would wager that a short phone call from the son, or a quick pop in an out (hi, how are you) would satisfy her need.

Good luck,
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Old 06-17-2011, 03:32 PM   #7
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thankfully I live in a state that doesn't have alimony. To me, alimony is for loser ex's who won't get off their butts and get a real job. I DO believe in spousal support for a period of time during and right after a divorce...but to have to support an ex forever is retarded.

I went through a custody case when my step son wanted to go live with his dad. It was the most brutal thing I'd ever gone through. I was closer to homicide or suicide than ever in my life...so I feel for you. My suggestion is to follow your legal decree TO THE LETTER. If it states she's to see him every other weekend on Wednesday from 6:00pm-10:00pm, drop him off that very minute of 6:00pm and pick him up the second the clock strikes 10:00pm.

The OTHER thing I'd HIGHLY suggest, is to NOT talk bad about your ex in front of him...just love him. He'll know where the love came from when he grows up.
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Old 06-17-2011, 04:21 PM   #8
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Turtle you are right about them not being around their parents much at that age. Mine disappears for sometime 3 days at a time over long weekends. He stays at a couple of his friends houses that are a little more lax about discipline. They get around all over the place, even travel some distance learning the lay of the land from New Orleans to Atlanta to Orlando. Amazing how far they will go in some friends car checking things out. They are growing up at that age faster than the parents realize most of the time. My son is still my wifes boy and she is checking up on him all the time. Me, we talk some and I get the right info and hey have fun, stay out of trouble and see you in a few days.
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Old 06-17-2011, 10:06 PM   #9
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