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Old 10-09-2007, 09:18 AM   #1
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Default Apology to PFF members

guys, i have to apologize to everyone. there are some members that i greatly owe personal apologies to, and i will try to get to them individually.

i have let been careless with my friends and family. i have allowed other pursuits in my life to consume the man that i am--the man i have always been. i have grown this horrible mask over my true being and allowed it to become me. i have judged people harmfully, i have taken for granted people who have helped me and i have hurt friends and strangers alike. it is not who i am, but who i have become. i have been aware of this for some time, but could not be man enough to reach out for the help i so desperately needed. a man can conquer anything on his own, but i have found out that it takes a true man to reach up from his despair and ask for help. i have been forced to see difference.

<SPAN class=917284011-09102007>jamie and i are seperated and its my fault.

<SPAN class=917284011-09102007>i have taken the best thing that any human being could ever dream of, and i took it for granted--and badly. i have been mean, ugly and spiteful to jamie. i have known of this for some time, but i could not take that step to do anything about it. i was aware my words were hurting her, but i just have let all the other pursuits in our lives drag me down and i have made her the sounding board for all of my inner demons. it was never fair, and i knew it. but i just could not stop. i tried anti-depressants and that was a big help in leveling my moods, but it did little to remove the things that were causing the anxieties. i know that now, and have committed to remove those things that i think are keeping me from being the man--the husband, the father, the dad, the friend, that i still am. (regardless of what ever happens, i am going to make myself healthy again) i am not going to be a 'changed man'. that is what i have become. but the man i changed into, is not who i really am.as any man, i believed i could do it on my own. but it took the sheer shock of jamies resolve to say 'no more' to bring me to my quivering boyish knees and reach out for that help.

<SPAN class=917284011-09102007>i dont need anything from any of my PFF family except to know that you are there, and will be there while i shed this horrible costume i have allowed myself to wear for way too long. i am not going anywhere--you know me better than that! just be ready for the ol' drew back as soon as i can get him there.

<SPAN class=917284011-09102007>as for mine and jamies seperation, please dont ask. i am devastated and cannot speak casually about it. i, we, have a great many close friends and are leaning on them right now. please provide us both our time and our dignity, thats the best thing i could ask of our PFF family.

<SPAN class=917284011-09102007>drew

<SPAN class=917284011-09102007>

<SPAN class=917284011-09102007>
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Old 10-09-2007, 09:25 AM   #2
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Default RE: Apology to PFF members

It takes a hell of a man to admit on a public forum that your life is in shambles and that you are to blame. It sounds like you are on the rite track now. Hang in there. It can only get better from here.:angel:angel:angel
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Old 10-09-2007, 09:33 AM   #3
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Default RE: Apology to PFF members

Drew, even though we've already communicated briefly,all I can saw is wow. I have a new found respect and admiration. I can notimagine going through the self realization and what it took to sit down and compose something like that and post it. Thank you for keeping us imformed on how your doing.

I'm sure you know there are tons of people on here that think very highly of you, Jamie and the boys, myself included. I don't want to speak for the others but I can say that you and Jamie both know my numbers and I am there for all of you at anytime and for whatever it may be.

I wishyou the very best in what your going through and pray that it comes to the best possible outcome.
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Old 10-09-2007, 09:48 AM   #4
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Default RE: Apology to PFF members

Wow Drew, I hate to hear that! That was a pretty powerful post, hang in there bro - will be thinking about ya'll.
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Old 10-09-2007, 09:58 AM   #5
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Default RE: Apology to PFF members

Hang in there man! Been there, done that and got the T-shirt. I Lost the wife, house, kid, dog,bank accounts, credit cards, and most everything elseseveral years ago because of the same thing. Best I can tell you is that as bad as things suck right now, if you stay true to yourself anddon't let your ego put up barriers you'll be MUCH happier down the road (everyone around you will be too). Church Helps!

Will be happy to talk if you need to!

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Old 10-09-2007, 10:05 AM   #6
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Default RE: Apology to PFF members

Knowing your priorities is the first step! You've clearly got that covered.Good luck in repairing any damage done. I hope this can turn out the best for all involved. My best wishes and prayers for you,Jamie,little Drew and Micha.
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Old 10-09-2007, 10:07 AM   #7
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Default RE: Apology to PFF members

Quote:
brnbser (10/9/2007)

I wishyou the very best in what your going through and pray that it comes to the best possible outcome.


I would like to echo Scott's words. It really is a great step forward. I hope and pray that everything works out and that every one of us realize the wonderful gifts we are given. God Bless and good luck through this difficult time.
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Old 10-09-2007, 10:20 AM   #8
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Default RE: Apology to PFF members

Quote:
Evensplit (10/9/2007)Hang in there man! Been there, done that and got the T-shirt. I Lost the wife, house, kid, dog,bank accounts, credit cards, and most everything elseseveral years ago because of the same thing. Best I can tell you is that as bad as things suck right now, if you stay true to yourself anddon't let your ego put up barriers you'll be MUCH happier down the road (everyone around you will be too). Church Helps!

Will be happy to talk if you need to!

Jim
ditto what jim said...we've spent enough time with ya'll &amp; i can't help but think by the way you are talking (mind set) that things will work out for you and jamie and you know we're pulling for both of you...:grouphug
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Old 10-09-2007, 10:33 AM   #9
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Default RE: Apology to PFF members

Drew, it takes a man to admitt what you have done. Sean and I are here for both you and Jamie and the boys. We seperated years ago, for almost a year, and well our marriage is stronger because of it. We know now communication communication communication, that is the key.. If you need anything give me a PM...

Jamie, I'm here for ya.. give me a call..
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Old 10-09-2007, 10:45 AM   #10
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Default RE: Apology to PFF members

Wow, im truly sorry to hear that. Drew, as you may recall i went through this stuff about 2 years ago. Hopefully things will resolve themselves and things will get patched up between you two. Either way its not an easy road, but you got a good head on your shoulders and im sure you'll make it through, not without heart ache, but you'll be fine.
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