Banned from TV - Pensacola Fishing Forum

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Old 01-23-2020, 08:31 PM   #1
DMC
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Default Banned from TV

Not me here just thought as funny

I watch way too much TV. Mostly it is on to provide white noise background while I pick at the computer.
There are lots of good stuff on TV. The nature programs, pro and college sports, some of the reality shows and such.
But there are a few things I wish I could banish from the boob tube.
Air Fryer infomercials, Wolf Blitzer, the low grade impeachment soap opera on the cable channels are just a few.
After giving it some thought I believe my number one pet peeve is all of those ads for gym equipment.
As an 82 YO shut-in limited in mobility to a wheel chair I get green with envy every time they show some young stud with rippling muscles, six pack abs, his brow glistening with sweat as he pedals or runs on one of the black contraptions. (notice that they are always black?)
An don't get me started on the females.
I spent a lifetime and thousands of dollars getting to know hundreds of women. I never met a real life gal that looks like one of them.
Not in street cloths or naked have I ever seen such perfect bodies.
Fifty years ago I was a fine specimen of manhood myself. I could work a twelve hour shift, party for ten hours then shower and shave and do it all over again.
I could have worn out one of the Pelotons in a week. That was then. I have those memories but I don't like having them pulled up and displayed on my frontal lobe every twelve minutes because I like to watch a program about Siberian muskox. Enough already !
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Old 01-24-2020, 12:04 PM   #2
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Default Hey DMC, I can relate, at least a little.

I'm still mobile and somewhat agile and maybe my eyesight is still better than yours because I recently saw a girl at the gym that met or surpassed some of the chicks on the commercials. HOLY MACKEREL! Some of the young Cuban chicks on the Beach in Clearwater about make you drool too.

I may be old but, until my eyes get worse, I'll keep on looking.
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Old 01-24-2020, 12:11 PM   #3
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Default Hey DMC, I can relate, at least a little.

I'm still mobile and somewhat agile and maybe my eyesight is still better than yours because I recently saw a girl at the gym that met or surpassed some of the chicks on the commercials. HOLY MACKEREL! Some of the young Cuban chicks on the Beach in Clearwater about make you drool too.

I may be old but, until my eyes get worse, I'll keep on looking.
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Old 01-24-2020, 03:51 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by captken View Post
I'm still mobile and somewhat agile and maybe my eyesight is still better than yours because I recently saw a girl at the gym that met or surpassed some of the chicks on the commercials. HOLY MACKEREL! Some of the young Cuban chicks on the Beach in Clearwater about make you drool too.

I may be old but, until my eyes get worse, I'll keep on looking.
Yeah - but you already said this - maybe add forgetting?
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Old 01-24-2020, 04:27 PM   #5
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Yeah - but you already said this - maybe add forgetting?
She looked so good he had to look twice...so he said it twice

OR

She looked so good captken's fingers stuttered.
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Old 01-27-2020, 10:10 AM   #6
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I have a mental airbrush that can make most of the beach ladies look good. Oops I misspelled that. It airBusch.
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Old 01-27-2020, 11:46 AM   #7
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I have a mental airbrush that can make most of the beach ladies look good. Oops I misspelled that. It airBusch.
I saw one last year that would have taken you 400 gallons of mental paint to cover.
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Old 01-27-2020, 11:58 PM   #8
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at 69, i still get a hardon. that's a good sign.

jack
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Old 01-28-2020, 01:18 AM   #9
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at 69, i still get a hardon. that's a good sign.

jack
But it's only when goats are involved, jack...doesn't really count.

True story...my little brother at 26 was put on some heart medication that kept him from getting a hardon. After 2 years, they weaned him off of it and said he would start getting erections again....eventually...but the first few might be sort of spontaneous.

We were at work , replacing a well pump at this house, and out comes the family's golden retriever...George told me I better not tell Wendy, his wife...that his first woody in over 2 years came while he was petting the retriever. So I didn't....we got to his house and I told Wendy that George got a hardon while rubbing his hand all over this blonde where we had worked...but she was a real bitch and a real dog.

George had to explain what I meant....couldn't figure out why he was mad at me.
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