& Law of Mechanical Repair
            After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

            & Law of Gravity
            Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

            & Law of Probability
            The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

            & Law of Random Numbers
            If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

            & Law of the Alibi
            If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

            & Variation Law
            If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are   now       (works       every time).

            & Law of the Bath
            When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

            & Law of Close Encounters
            The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

            & Law of the Result
            When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

            & Law of Biomechanics
            The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

            & Law of the Theater
            At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

            & The Starbucks Law
            As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

            & Murphy's Law of Lockers
            If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

            & Law of Physical Surfaces
            The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

            & Law of Logical Argument
            Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

            & Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
            If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

            & Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
            A closed mouth gathers no feet.

            & Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
            As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

            & Doctors' Law
            If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.