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Sux 2 B me

3K views 31 replies 21 participants last post by  Bodupp 
#1 ·
Codwrinkle and I decided to brave the cold this afternoon and go to Camp Killamofo and get me a doe for the freezer. Cod had intel from another member that the deer were going nucking futs in our barely-emerging greenfields. Said he saw 16 does, 3 or 4 spikes, and 3 shooter bucks - none of which interested him, and they were moving early.

We decided to go to our new greenfield that we planted in front of our new "legacy stand" that we built last spring. We settled in at 2:30 and spread all our crap on the shelf in front of us; binoculars, cheese crackers, Jack Daniels, cigarettes, Snickers, pee bottles, Robitussin, butt-kit bottle, cell phones, etc.

At 3:00, a big doe strolled out right in front of us, but she had 2 babies that still had spots. They grazed away at the short grass, but would occasionally look to our right (my side) like they were expecting something. At 3:25, I looked to my right and see three bucks in the open field, staring at us. Two are shooters and I tell Codwrinkle I'm gonna blast the bigger one. "WHICH ONE ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT?"

"Dammit, Cod, I'm gonna shoot the wide one on the right."

"WHICH ONE?"

"MF'er, the one on the right. They're looking right at us."

I try to manipulate the rifle out the side window without banging into anything, and try to settle in. I'm having trouble getting a full sight picture because my fat belly won't let me bend down properly.

"LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GONNA SHOOT SO I CAN WATCH THROUGH MY BINOCULARS!"

"Really, Codwrinkle? Could you just shut the f*ck up for one second?"

Strangely, all 3 bucks are just standing like lawn statues, broadside and in the open, staring at the spectacle before them. Range is about 150 yards. Cod lights a cigarette - above the window sill. I finally rip off my balaclava and get what I think is a good sight picture - and before Cod can say anything else - I jerk the trigger. I said JERK the trigger.

Cod says, "I THINK I SAW HIM HIT THE GROUND."

"No, MF'er, I see all 3 of them hauling ass across the field, and none of them look hurt."

"I GOTTA PEE! NOW!" I try to get out of his way and open the door of the shooting house. He makes it to the top step and piss is going everywhere - cascading down the steps like a waterfall. Hell, now I've gotta pee.

"Hurry up, Cod - get outta my way. I gotta pee!"

"LET'S GO LOOK!"

I peed in a Gatorade bottle. I don't know how much more I can take...

We made it to where the buck was standing and check for sign .... and there it is - white belly hair with no meat or blood, just a handful of hair. Shitmanf*ck! We did the right thing and searched as far as I saw the buck run, and never found one drop of blood. It's 4:00, so we decide to go back and sit 'til dark. Six does come out on Cod's side at 4:23. Range is about 265 yards. They never get closer than 250. Three big does come out on my side at 4:35. Range: 225 yards. I figure I'm gonna shoot the biggest one if she turns broadside. My plan is to SQUEEZE the trigger this time.

"WHICH ONE YOU GONNA SHOOT?"

"Dammit, Cod, they're staring right at us."

"THEY CAN'T HEAR US TALKING."

All 3 deer run off like the Devil Himself was after them. "Let's smoke."

I'm slumped in my chair and feel a fart, so I lean toward Cod and he sticks his ear with the hearing aid toward my mouth like I'm gonna whisper to him. I start sobbing uncontrollably. Cod pats me on the back and says, "It's OK Bunkie, I used to suck at deer hunting - when I was nine years old!"

Shitfirefuzzy.

I look hard right, and not twenty yards from the bottom of our steps are two deer! By Granny, I can make this shot! I manage to get the rifle back out the window without making any noise and pick them up in my scope. Two non-shooter rack bucks - 6 pts. Maybe big boy is behind them ...

WTF is THAT? Cod's phone is ringing! Ringing! Not vibrating - RINGING! Sweet Mother of ... Cod has to pee again. Being cold and all, I shared my fleece blanket with Cod - feels good laid across our laps. He peed in a Ziploc bag this time - kinda. When he sat back down, I reach down for the blanket ... and it's wet. It's wet. IT'S WET! Sonofa...

"WANNA GO AGAIN TOMORROW?"

Let me think about it. :no:

17 deer. 5 bucks. 2 shooters. No meat.
 
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#19 ·
Here's a pic of the stand site. The stand is just to the right of Cod's truck in the distance. The three bucks came out roughly from where this pic was taken. The green patch is just off screen to the hard right. The two 6 pts at the end of the hunt came around that head of woods from the left.
 

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#20 ·
Cod just text me that he's hunting the stand where the other club member saw 20 something deer on Thursday. Said he wasn't in the stand yet, but he could see 2 does, 2 yearlings, and 2 young bucks on the field already. He's with his son today.

*Update* He just text me while I was typing this and he has 10 deer on the field. Ironically, the stand is an old Porta-potty! Same stand where I killed these two bucks a few years ago - back when I didn't JERK the trigger!
 

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#31 ·
Damn. Stupid is as stupid does. Missing that buck affected me more than I knew. Really, it was a test to see if anyone was paying attention. (OK, not really.)
 
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