Halfmoon

<DIV class=EC_MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 13.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">LOVE MY JOB

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on off shore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.



Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Bef ore I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office, it's a wet suit; this time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is, we have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to b urn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops, totaling thirty-five minutes, before I could reach the surface to begin my ch amber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, ha nded me a tube of cream, and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So the next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it could be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: inherit"></DIV>

Shiznik

Well, that doesn't sound like my kind of job at all. I'd have to say the warm water would have to wait until all the jellies were no where in sight. I bet that really made for a long two days, not meaning to laugh, so I won't. Better luck next time you hit the clock!

FlounderAssassin

thats got to be the funniest thing i have read in a long time. im gonna have to save that for the next time we get divers on our boat and post it in the lounge!

SCUBA Junkie

I've seen that story posted elsewhere in the past. Don't know if true, but damn funny regardless. I can just picture the guy hanging at a deco stop with a jelly jambed in his butt.

Tuna Man

For those that dive that deep....do you wear a wet or a dry suit? Saw that long while ago and if not true ...still funny. Good story teller if nothing else.

sealark

Ron, You do wear wet suits with the hot water hose. And I can tell you that story can very easily happen. The jellyfish get cut up into very small pieces but still sting as bad as getting one directly on you.:hotsun