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Old 07-18-2008, 01:37 PM   #1
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Default Headlines From The Year: 2029

<DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><U><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Helvetica">HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR:</U><U><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"></U><U><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Helvetica">2029</U><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">,<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">formerly known as<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'"> California<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.</DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: green; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'"> United States<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">crops and livestock.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">Thousands of Polar Bears </DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">Endanger AllArctic Wildlife. </DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">


<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: gray; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">I ran<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: gray; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
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<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">France<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">pleads fo r global help after being taken over by<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'"> Jamaica<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'">. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold'">
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<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported l egally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">loss.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">
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<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: green; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

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<U><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.</U><U><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">
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<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">Abortion clinics now available in every<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">
<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">High School in<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> United States .
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
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<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">Massachusetts<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: purple">executes last remaining conservative.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: teal; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: teal; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: gray; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: gray; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 203<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">0<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
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<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">Florexico voters still having trouble with voting machines.<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: green; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">
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Old 07-18-2008, 02:01 PM   #2
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Default RE: Headlines From The Year: 2029

Invasion on Gulf beaches....Manatees come ashore and eat children.
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Old 07-18-2008, 02:47 PM   #3
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Default RE: Headlines From The Year: 2029

Alabama still votes against having a state lottery :banghead:banghead
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Old 07-18-2008, 02:54 PM   #4
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Default RE: Headlines From The Year: 2029

Quote:
Boatjob1 (7/18/2008)<DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"><DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-TOP: 7.5pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><U><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">
</U>
<U><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.</U><U><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">
</U>
<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">

<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: green; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: 'Book Antiqua'">
</DIV></DIV></DIV>
I think this is the only one I don't believe can happen.
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Old 07-18-2008, 03:31 PM   #5
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Default RE: Headlines From The Year: 2029

Awesome, I like it!!!!!!
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Old 07-19-2008, 09:03 PM   #6
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Default RE: Headlines From The Year: 2029

"NMFS admits Red Snapper stock assessment data is questionable; considers extending season by 1 week"

"Last recreational fisherman dies; PETA celebrates"

"Vegetarianism defined as an illness"

"Animal rights advocate wins right to marry longtime porpoise partner; wedding at Seaworld"

"Osama Bin Ladenkeynote speaker at Democratic Convention; liberals can't contain excitement"

"City of Berkeley tops list of conservative cities; Marines still not welcome"

"Jimmy Carter trailer park chain awarded 5-stars by homeless.com"
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Old 07-20-2008, 06:54 PM   #7
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Default RE: Headlines From The Year: 2029

"Red Snapper are the only thing on the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico"
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Old 07-20-2008, 08:53 PM   #8
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Default RE: Headlines From The Year: 2029

sea turtles come ashore on florida's beaches to destroy all plastic lounge chairs that killed their ancesters in the early 2000's.( directions supplied by the tree huggn, bark eatn,turtle lovers headed up by mr. turpin)
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